tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72809095825618444572024-02-18T23:47:57.940-08:00Mystique purplemystiquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04258733662670324656noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7280909582561844457.post-29491766552072855552017-07-09T10:55:00.000-07:002017-07-09T10:55:31.150-07:00In Tatters and Boundless Spaces<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-ZA; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">You
stood before her; An almost Infallible man; unearthed by her silence, feeling
at peace when you saw the calm in her eyes and the turmoil on her face, your
eyes said you were Home, as you let them meet hers and dance an nearly
forgotten waltz, whispering the words she had patiently died a thousand times
to hear, you breathed life into her insecurities as your drew her in one last
time smiling as though you could love her forever, you took a step towards her
and she let her resolve dissolve as you whispered into her ear… </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-ZA; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;">When you spoke she heard the sound of a low slow thunder rumbling in the distance of a three day rainstorm, She let herself get lost in it, the sound of the ocean crashing against boulders and shore, mimicking sounds of her heart, she let the waves carry her away… but as the words trace curves of her lips, her neck, her heart, and her healing scars she wonders, only one thing, Could you truly love a broken soul… </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;"> Could you be the warm hollowed out crevasse perfectly moulded to her every jagged edge, every rounded curve, could your arms be the silk scarves, wrapping every wound, every scar, holding her together pieces in a familiar and necessary touch. Like a tourniquet embracing the correct lines to stop the pain festering, could you be her strong hold against the world, and on days she loses the battles against herself could you be her constant. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">Could you take care of her broken soul?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;"> Laying in pieces on the floor, could you gather her fragments into see through jars, let the sun kiss her darkness away, could you be her sun. Could you still love her knowing the darkness that she hides? </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;">Could you love isolation of the walls she builds as barricades from the world, could you learn which ones to climb and which ones to kiss, leaving flowers and candles and ginger caresses, reassuring the fears that lurk on the other side of them, never truly knowing if this would be the last. Could you watch the shadows dancing under her eyes and know when to brush them away, and when to let them fall to the floor… Could you whisper your essence into her ears when she shudders in slumber and ease the demons away… Would you lose your faith if you knew where her light began and her darkness ended, knowing she might let you surrender to her, could you trust her to embrace you one last time? </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;">She might let you touch her, she might open the palms of her hands and let you place your lips upon every smile, or frown, but would you dare to try? She might run her fingers over every scar you have ever endured and place a kiss upon your every hurt. She might disrobe her soul and let the memories slip down her skin like satin sheath and gather at her feet like the waters of her revival. But could you truly breathe in her scent like you yearn to…</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;"> Could you taste the galaxies forming beneath her bones, could you embrace her fire without scorching? Could you stand to watch her fly away, and trust that she would return to you, like the string of a kite so delicately anchored to her soul could you reel her back in, just as she begins to wither into herself, Could you extend your arms and touch her this time, like reaching into the darkness within yourself, could you stare into her Abyss and bare letting it stare back into you…</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;">Could you sing the songs she writes on her skin like a road map to her every emotion, could you bare to watch her dance and know that every misstep is ultimately your own… Could you Love a broken Soul, and learn to let it love you back the only way it can … </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 115%;"></span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
xxxx<br />
Mystiquepurplemystiquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04258733662670324656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7280909582561844457.post-32033869444191736922017-02-14T16:03:00.001-08:002017-02-14T16:03:46.544-08:00Falling In love <div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
Your mistake, my darling, was not falling in love, your mistake was falling in love with someone who could not see the sparkle in your eyes; the never ending love in your big beautiful heart; the blazing inferno in your soul; the pure wildness in your smile that cannot be tamed; darling; your skin is the the most precious material on the face of our earth and it will not be traded on any market or any level. You are a piece of the universe, an intangible spirit breathing l<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">ife into everyone and everything you come into contact with. You are life! You are love! A breathtaking mystery filled with wonder and surprise, you are life!<br />Loving someone who who could not see all that you are was no mistake of yours, please never forget that.<br />The mistake was theirs. You are worth more than diamonds, more than earth. No one will ever be worth but a single tear from your wonder filled eyes.<br />Smile my darling, keep your head held up high because someday soon someone special, will see what I see in you and they will be worth falling in love with more than a thousand times.</span></div>
<div class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">
<div style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 6px;">
xxxx Mystique</div>
</div>
purplemystiquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04258733662670324656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7280909582561844457.post-47696154306592202932016-04-01T15:21:00.001-07:002016-04-01T15:21:25.834-07:00LOST AND FOUND <div>
A moment of truth: </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
There was a time in my life i thought that i could save everyone, but I can't, probably will never be able to, it's just how life goes. Unfortunately I learnt this a little too late, and I had already lost myself, the girl i used to be. Bright eyed ready to fall in love with the first person who wasn't ready for the kind of love I had to offer. </div>
<div>
Don't get me wrong, it isn't that they didn't try but in the few months I have been gone i learned something. People are different. some people understand sports others understand computers, some people change when they loose someone important to them, others, well they manage to stay exactly the same. I am the type of girl who loses herself in a fairy tale, </div>
<div>
A type of girl who never really grew up they way she was supposed to. Girls -and boys- like me, we were forced to grow up before we were supposed to, and then when allowed to be our age we were just confused. You ask a nine year old to be an adult and then expect them to act their age at sixteen, it's a recipe for disaster. </div>
<div>
I was that disaster. I learned to live life a certain way then all of a sudden was one day forced to change. I lost who I was in the process. </div>
<div>
Lost amidst parts of myself I'd long since forgotten, I awoke one morning to the soul crushing realization I would never quite be the same, never be a carefree child, never a complete adult, I was destined to be a roamer, a gypsy wandering somewhere in between, </div>
<div>
I wasn't the only one who grew up this way.</div>
<div>
It became a flaw of my generation, The generation of angry teenagers and young moms'; of lost girls and confused boys. The generation of school leavers and disappearing acts. I dropped off the face of the earth and somewhere, tangled in the sadness and misery of not knowing what the world expected of me I found something I never even knew existed. Deep down inside myself lay a sparkling little gem of light, the person I was destined to be. I found me. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I found the anger and the excitement, I found the desire and i found the disdain, i found the path that would lead me back to the world a new woman, I found acceptance, I haven't quite learned how to embrace it fully but finding me made me realize, being a work in progress isn't such a bad thing after all, it just means you, like a diamond take just a little longer, need a little more pressure and darkness to emerge a precious jewel of Mother earth and Father time. </div>
<div>
Because the girls and boys of my generation, aren't all that bad at all.</div>
<div>
There's still hope for us all. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
XXXX </div>
<div>
Mystique </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
purplemystiquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04258733662670324656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7280909582561844457.post-82320256432131733852015-08-07T07:03:00.004-07:002015-08-07T07:03:56.950-07:00The return of a forgotten girl. <div>
To all the loyal followers of purple mystique:</div>
<div>
An unmentionable amount of thank you's, yes, I did let my blog take a back seat to the weird and sometimes wonderful dramas of life but now that life has begun, once again, to settle into something resembling a routine, I've picked up the torch for my words and begun to mission forward once again. quite simply put, I've returned to the world wide web to paint it purple with my words all over again... IM BACK!!!!! I apologize sincerely if you'd given up on me, and if you hadn't yet, thank you once again. The ext few posts will hopefully make p for it and perhaps the addition of a new section and life to the blog. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I think a makeover is well over due. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Yours truly... </div>
purplemystiquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04258733662670324656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7280909582561844457.post-57371794119785022502014-10-16T14:39:00.001-07:002014-10-16T14:39:39.343-07:00Purgatory <br />
And I was told to love you,<br />
because without you the emptiness would be too much too bear.<br />
And I was told to forgive you,<br />
because the hatred for you would eventually kill me.<br />
But the truth was.<br />
Whether you were there or not.<br />
My life was a rapidly moving train.<br />
Derailed by the speed of pain,<br />
I watched the slow motion disaster unfold<br />
before my very eyes:<br />
too horrific to move, too awful to turn away.<br />
I tasted the misery on my tongue,<br />
felt its crawl on my skin.<br />
As the universe opened up a black worm hole.<br />
Spiraling down as it burnt up.<br />
The darkness consuming everything around me.<br />
And I fell.<br />
Not knowing which way was up or down.<br />
Into the abyss as it cascaded with tears of the dead.<br />
And I could have asked you to stay,<br />
just so I wouldn't be alone when it all came crashing down,<br />
but I recall a faint voice in the back of my head<br />
saying this was a perfect replica.<br />
Identical to the precise moment I fell for yo.<br />
And fell for you.<br />
I fell for you hard.<br />
And I could have buried my head in a pillow<br />
and yelped out in pain,<br />
but the misery clawed at my throat,<br />
and I was too busy trying to survive.<br />
Too busy missing you to remember to fight for air,<br />
and my lungs ached for oxygen<br />
but the insides of my thighs had a deeper aching,<br />
for the kiss of your lips.<br />
And my tears fell but my hands were too busy<br />
trying to reinvent the touch of your fingertips on my skin.<br />
So they drowned me.<br />
And they all told me to forget you,<br />
because regretting what you did was better than regretting what you didn't do.<br />
And I called their bluff,<br />
as I pulled up my blue sleeves to reveal my tattered wrists.<br />
Because never meeting you<br />
would have been so much easier<br />
than whatever purgatory this is...<br />
<br />purplemystiquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04258733662670324656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7280909582561844457.post-75142421102510315512014-10-16T14:21:00.001-07:002014-10-16T14:21:40.353-07:00Dead love <br />
I.<br />
Cannot.<br />
Pick up a pencil.<br />
I cannot paint a stroke.<br />
I cannot pen a fucking word.<br />
<br />
I cannot cry a damn tear.<br />
But i ache to feel something.<br />
<br />
I yearn to be numb,<br />
in the pain of your resolution.<br />
I cry out for the shame,<br />
but so suddenly, I cannot.<br />
<br />
I waltz from lover to past lover<br />
searching for what i had with you.<br />
But nothing ever feels the same.<br />
It never feels right.<br />
<br />
And I would hate you,<br />
but I'm too busy reminiscing,<br />
your toxic kiss.<br />
<br />
And I would have killed you,<br />
but I'm too fucking busy trying<br />
not too love you.<br />
<br />
And some day will come,<br />
my 'dear' friend.<br />
When its all faded away.<br />
And I will reach into your wretched cage,<br />
feel the chilling ache of your frozen heart<br />
and I will reach in and grab<br />
the remnants of my own bitter heart.<br />
The misery gnawing at my fingernails,<br />
bitten raw in anticipation.<br />
Our song will fade.<br />
And I will regain my soul.<br />
<br />
But until then ,<br />
until that last hour.<br />
Do not stop,<br />
telling my bleeding ears<br />
the venomous lies of shrapnel words.<br />
Don't stop kissing my skin,<br />
until the yellowing puss of your 'I love you's.<br />
For I cannot reclaim all that is and what was mine,<br />
until I have die.<br />
So dance with me.<br />
My sweet ecstasy.<br />
The misery of cocaine.<br />
Acid tripping circuits and faintly intoxicated glimmering stages.<br />
Until I am dead.<br />
Continue until I die.<br />
Until we are dead...purplemystiquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04258733662670324656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7280909582561844457.post-74469458353305007252014-10-16T14:05:00.002-07:002014-10-16T14:22:37.290-07:00Untitled <div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Alone.</div>
<div>
Without a face.</div>
<div>
I stood before you , and with my quivering hands,</div>
<div>
sprawled up , out into the night sky, </div>
<div>
like an offering to the God on high.</div>
<div>
I surrendered my soul</div>
<div>
and you...</div>
<div>
Like a frightened child</div>
<div>
fell at my feet </div>
<div>
and chuckled. </div>
<div>
It was the end of an era </div>
<div>
and you were beginning a fresh,</div>
<div>
a new,</div>
<div>
with a lover that was not me...</div>
<div>
Thus was the journey of my love for you...</div>
purplemystiquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04258733662670324656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7280909582561844457.post-58637954006842485042014-10-11T18:46:00.001-07:002014-10-11T18:46:28.250-07:00The women in the window <br />
Often she would sit up until late at night, just so she was alone enough to hurt ,or for the pain her mind would create, for the pain she couldn't quite forgive the world for and it was quite a saddening shame, because when she was wild and free she was happy and oh how beautiful she was when that happiness overflowed. But when the moon began its slow descend and began to let the sun breath, you could always find her, sitting up in her loneliness...<br />
<br />
And with a bottle of whisky in on hand and another cigarette in the other her inner war began. A raging tirade of assaults and gruesome murders taking place on each and every page Scorching her soul from the outside in, she was born different , dying from the moment she took her first breath, each chapter was a massacre that worsened her grief until one day, her story would end...<br />
You could take another swing at her, it wouldn't do you any good. She was her own worst enemy, you couldn't hurt her even if you tried...<br />
The women in the window.<br />
<br />
She hated the weekends because she thought they brought out the worst in people and for those around her they did, and it wasn't always to no avail because it was for these moments she wove her pains between the lines of her beautifully donned lies, and she would sit at that old typewriter,hunting and pecking every word until her heart was empty and her soul was bare and the demons inside her were starved and her masterpiece was complete. But the time would come and just few moments before dawn arose he would come home and perhaps her joy would return, no one could ever tell, for he loved her in a way that both invigorated and suffocated her. Giving her life and taking it all away, simultaneously. She had never been as alive as the moment whence she had met him and yet, it was at that precise moment she had begun to die...<br />
Her slow suicide.<br />
<br />
She loved him the way prisoners grew to love their captors, the way lovers learnt to love being apart. She loved him with all the glories that she once had and all that she would one day have, until she had nothing left at all. And it was sickening to stand back and see, how in the moonlight, tiny cracks in her smile would begin to show . How she had scars that not even time could heal. She had spiders and monsters lurking never so far deep beneath the surface of her glistening skin and bellow those , low and behold, was the worst kind of hell. Fires and pain, sadness and the most excruciating of eternal aches, but beneath that , all the hollows of hell. She had paradise...<br />
Sweet, soft and serene, she often fought to save this, or to Shield it from her cruel world, no one could tell but she was always afraid. No one person could get down there, never even near. Down those levels to all such as this, but he...<br />
<br />
He was the little hope she still had ever reserved and then one day he had all of a sudden left, and now, now she is the tragedy of pity you see before you. Cold and hardened by her pain, often none could tell if he would return and mend all what he had shattered... And now as she is the women in the window, as she always had, she sits at her desk, buried behind that old typewriter beckoning the moments before dawn to break, it is never unseen in her eyes, that there is nothing, not a damn thing more tragically beautiful in this whole damned world than the way she loved him and you may say that they might have been together for the briefest eternity or the longest moment in time but it is always with sinking heart that we are to know, they were never together at all...purplemystiquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04258733662670324656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7280909582561844457.post-66870395964184515862014-10-06T09:58:00.001-07:002014-10-06T09:58:54.483-07:00The Manic Depressant Files. <div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Everyday life was a
battle. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
She lived like the
arduous were unconquerable alps, never ending peaks </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
and the effortless were unfathomable gallows
spiralling into rapidly descending pits.</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Soaring from
mushroom cloud to cumulus nimbus of doom, </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Each one shattering
the small hope reserved to jump to the next. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
She was a soldier,
sent to battle with only her bare
exposed heart as a weapon. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
A country, a small
island, landlocked by continents at war.</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
She was no man land,
dancing a waltz that only she knew:</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Ducking and diving
through fallen debris and flying shrapnel wounded souls </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Who could love
a girl whose wounds covered her entire
face. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Whose skin was a
thin tattered cloak of pain, anguish and unsurpassed mistakes?</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Who would see deep
beneath the measure of self loathing despair to the women who lay there?</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Long since
forgotten…</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Now she waded
monsters and demons, in search of her next fix. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
The devil that would
play in her veins making her forget. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
But she wasn't
always this way. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
There wasn't always
a pernicious thicket of thorn bearing foliage and detrimental hate,</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
No she too was once
so beautiful. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
A sweet little girl
with pigtails, played in a park, </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
With no one
watching, she was well on her way to paradise… </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Now she clung to the
memories of that state </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Waiting for them to
come and take her away. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
And sometimes she
thought it would be better that way. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Men in cloaks as
white as the bright heavenly light, </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
To take her away to
a place where she could never hurt herself again. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Where the year
old needles and blades couldn't slice
jagged flesh from her unwanted body </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
And no, she probably
wouldn't bleed ever again but at least there, </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Wherever there was, </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
They couldn't hurt
her there. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
So she'd gladly
welcome her cocktail of pills and gulp down her last bottle of rum. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
And pray that when
they found her she would be dead. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
But if for some
reason she heard the faraway sirens whirling in an approaching distance </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
She hoped to hear
them say she were a danger to herself, </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Knowing full well
that she were a danger to them all </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
And so her
fairy-tale show would end </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
And in a place where
the walls were softer and the sounds were sweet. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
She'd have three
meals a day and a few more pills to take away the pain </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
And say goodbye to
the horrid numbness that ricochet and say hello to the rest of eternity. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
She would fly away
tonight and then,</div>
<br />
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Only then would
everything be okay. </div>
purplemystiquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04258733662670324656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7280909582561844457.post-2519954731494699062014-08-15T15:52:00.001-07:002014-08-15T15:52:21.997-07:00Calling Me I looked into my past, and I was cold.<br />
You had gone away.<br />
The sun had stopped shinning,<br />
the warm breeze had frozen into gusts of ice filled shards and bitterness,<br />
scrapping at my skin.<br />
I am not the girl I used to be.<br />
Yesterday i was so sad, so dark and so alone.<br />
Today I am a women. embracing her words, solitude is now a glory.<br />
But sometimes, sometimes you are pulled back into my mind, and grab at me,<br />
with talons of decay:<br />
I feel myself withering in the distance of those memories.<br />
I see it, the way I let you bring me down,<br />
I feel it,<br />
the way you turn me back into that girl i used to be.<br />
I lied.<br />
Why cant I let you go completely.<br />
Why do I still hide that fragment of who you used to be,<br />
And I hear you, I hear you calling me,<br />
with a voice so distance,<br />
to answer back to you.<br />
I was fighting to stay alive,<br />
skimming the surface,<br />
I was drowning,<br />
trying not to die.<br />
I survived!<br />
why cant I let that fragment of who you used to be go...<br />
why are you still there!<br />
Like a child, standing still at the door,<br />
watching hope and fantasy drifting away into the distance until I am nothing but a fading dot in a faraway fading horizon.<br />
Why are you still calling me?<br />
Why are you still there?<br />
I hear you calling me, but there is nothing i can do.<br />
No way I can force you to leave me alone,<br />
without drifting back into the distance.<br />
Why are you calling me?<br />
Why are you still holding onto me?<br />
Let me go. please, please! please... please...<br />
We've already said goodbye...<br />
Why are you still calling out to me.<br />
Just go...<br />
let me go, so that i may let you go, for good...<br />
for good...purplemystiquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04258733662670324656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7280909582561844457.post-49672921303787668412014-07-27T12:56:00.001-07:002014-07-27T12:56:53.840-07:00A Message To My Generation- Molly Kate Kestner<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/EV3eyLJBUdo" width="480"></iframe>purplemystiquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04258733662670324656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7280909582561844457.post-84098175308707253462014-07-26T14:56:00.001-07:002014-07-26T14:56:26.239-07:00Disappointment Exhaustion begins to settle the desire for something greater, something more than waiting until they appear or perhaps they are already here, but my lack of knowledge ;of their existence ; makes it all that difficult. How can one truly prepare for the unknown, without a stitch of knowledge, a single clue, and to get ones hopes up so early, time and time again would merely be cruel. Once was death twice would be murder or perhaps suicide if you, yourself let this be. So you see not much can be done other than to sit around and wait, which is pain on its own. This, and this yes, this is where it begins<br />
Exhaustion beginning to settle. Death is left to follow.<br />
<br />
Letting ones self down.<br />
Mystique<br />
<br />purplemystiquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04258733662670324656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7280909582561844457.post-11475474290536930912014-07-26T14:33:00.000-07:002014-07-26T14:33:45.741-07:00Mystique the facebook page Hey all,<br />
<br />
I know i've been away for a while without a word but im glad to inform you all that i am indeed back and am making a few new changes to the page. starting with a few new posts and a little lighter insight into my life. I know i'm not famous or anyone special but what i do know for sure is that i am me and as unexciting my life my seem I am extremely proud of it, and i know that many of you can relate to at least one of my crazy intricate personalities, so I've decided to start a facebook page with all the things Mystique encounters, its not much but I've decided that i want to dedicate it to you all, because Mystique wouldn't be what it is today without you all and also the fact that I feel like I'm talking to myself out there, so please, add me, like the page drop me an inbox, give some suggestions and lets make mystique as wonderful as we all are.<br />
stay golden xx<br />
Mystique <3<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
purplemystiquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04258733662670324656noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7280909582561844457.post-38120226525968593742014-06-28T14:26:00.002-07:002014-06-28T14:26:29.239-07:00I am a women <div class="MsoNormal">
Not so long ago I sat in a room, a room I knew very well and
thought to myself, endlessly around in
circles about who I was, who I used to be and there were moments I didn't quite
know, then I thought, why. Why was I so suddenly this being who no longer
recognised her own reflection, and amidst this I recoiled and these words presented
themselves to me: <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am a woman, imperfectly so. I have flaws and I have scars.
Bad angles and wayward hair days, but I am still a women. I am difficult and
complex, a paradigm of the universe and a product of this earth. Why would I
want to deface something so wonderful the heavens put me here? Why are we so infatuated
with the idea of being someone we are not? I we were all to wake up tomorrow
and everything we complained about was perfect, where would we be? Breasts
forever perky, like unexplored sixteen year old Barbie doll, wrapped and boxed for
the world to see. If our hips never curved, widening to support life. Eyes
never wrinkling in remembrance of a smile. Teeth crooked from ice-cream smiles
and taking chunks from life. If that is the world you want to live in, I pity
you.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
How could you be so selfish to want your partner to be perfect? Never
falling and grazing a knee to understand that he or she is no God. How could
you be so cruel to yourself to never want to experience the bad things in life,
to never truly understand how those make you appreciate the good. How could
you want t rob yourself and those around you of a love so wonderful, so pure as
the one that you may share with that wonder staring back at you through the
mirror, telling you how foolish you might be. You are a women, a product of the
earth. A man, the protector of her light that shines ever so bright. Wake up!
Open your eyes, she is fragile so you may care for her, she is strong so she
may shelter you from the storm. And if this is the world you wish to live in
then count me out, cause as you stand before crowds, lips filled with collagen,
wrinkles filled with lies I’ll be here sitting at the back of the crowd having
the time of my life. Wake up sweetheart when you're six feet under, maggots don't
care if you died at fifty looking twenty-five. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You're still going to die, and
that, that my friends is the beauty of it all. To be honest and true, to look
like a crumpled piece of paper because you laughed, to have boobs dancing on
your stomach and an ass dangling way past your thighs, it makes the best music
when it hits the back of your knees and I may still be young with a body that
looks nubile, but I know when my time comes, I won’t hide behind incisions made
beneath a surgical knife, I’ll embrace the dimples on my tights because I am
women, a real women, imperfectly so. And I'm still more than happy to be alive. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
purplemystiquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04258733662670324656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7280909582561844457.post-573347324545231612014-06-02T12:49:00.000-07:002014-06-02T12:49:46.497-07:00A Universe Unknown She had a smile oh her cheeks,<br />
(cherry pink lips to kiss)<br />
and mischief in her chocolate star eyes,<br />
Twinkling wild.<br />
And when she danced...<br />
Oh,<br />
How she was free!<br />
To frolic with the enchanting beat.<br />
<br />
Her blue ruffles and ebony curls,<br />
twirled.<br />
Drawing breaths from lips , across the room,<br />
She was always pleasant<br />
in the way she made him feel.<br />
From the twinkling of her bare toes,<br />
to the tinsel dangling from her little nose.<br />
<br />
She was magic.<br />
Like Summer and snow,<br />
Or a song from a piano<br />
his heart would always know.<br />
A universe unknown<br />
They felt every key...<br />
Like a harp<br />
she plucked<br />
(every string )<br />
to the rhythm of her own heart.<br />
who's song would always be known.<br />
<br />
Mystery,<br />
(no, awe)<br />
poured from her soul.<br />
She was a universe of hidden wonders,<br />
Each ,<br />
to which, <br />
were marvels forever undiscovered,<br />
unknown.<br />
(Waiting to crumble)<br />
To whomever dared.<br />
<br />
He lay eye's upon the glory of her chocolate star eyes,<br />
his knees kissed the ground...<br />
and softly his lips quivered...<br />
"Behold, you are, the universe unknown"<br />
<br />
Mystique xxxx<br />
purplemystiquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04258733662670324656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7280909582561844457.post-84677629902333048842014-05-30T15:11:00.000-07:002014-06-02T12:30:53.016-07:00The way it ought to be...<br />
She yearned,<br />
for something to numb the pain,<br />
the agony of knowing.<br />
If only just for a shortened while.<br />
They said:<br />
"Knowledge,<br />
it's power",<br />
but what power was there in knowing<br />
what she had done,<br />
really done...<br />
All that she was truly responsible for?<br />
<br />
She ached for something,<br />
to take away the regret.<br />
To make her forget.<br />
Because there was a beauty,<br />
and a wonder,<br />
more than bliss.<br />
In being ignorant,<br />
oblivious to the blood<br />
stained on her hands.<br />
<br />
It was the ease,<br />
the natural simplicity<br />
with which,<br />
she could lay her head,<br />
upon a pillow,<br />
close her eyes and fall<br />
(drifting swiftly)<br />
and sleep would come.<br />
With the stars and fade away<br />
with the rising sun.<br />
The way it ought t be...<br />
<br />
Mystique xxxxpurplemystiquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04258733662670324656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7280909582561844457.post-20979237094977835162014-05-29T12:50:00.000-07:002014-05-29T12:50:01.770-07:00The first of many Thank You's <u><b>To: P.J.K and C.J. Selyer </b></u><br />
<br />
There will always be a part of her, that clings to the past, but there was a greater more dominant part that new the future awaited her, and to accept it fully, she needed to let go of the life she used to lead, and it wasn't until she was to lose a greater part of her soul that she found herself crumbling back to that place she knew too well.<br />
<br />
This was the thing about life and death. Death was peaceful and almost something easy, to simply let go and float away to another place, where love awaited you, with arms open and warm, but living? Living was harder. Living left you naked, open and raw. Living was sore, it was brutal and without mercy . Plagued with the fury of war. Life was a monster, nay, a vicious beast, that without her learning to control would take her by the soul and reduce her to something less that a ghost. And that it had on many occasions at a time, but this was not one, his was the moment she learnt that she was not truly alone. She was there now, and even if she had to let go of that part of her soul, if I had to let o of that part of my soul, i wasnt truly alone because i was that girl, who never truly learnt to walk away from her past but this time, this night, i learnt that i did not only have him to support me but i had her, and her words were as comforting as those of a mother, she was my second protector. An angel sent from the heavens , to guard over me, stand beside me and yet she too stood back and let me shine.<br />
<br />
And as i spent my time wondering what they saw in me, that made them both risk so much to let me fly, I realized, maybe i would never understand the meaning behind their words, and the reasons for their love, but at this moment, where i battled with that beast, I would simply let them be and accept their love because i had nothing more. I was so much more with them in my life. accomplished more with them at my side and i needed them, more than they would ever know.<br />
<br />
And for this i could never thank them enough, but I would start with proving their love and loyalty was never for noting and start with a million Thank You's. So, to: P.J.K and C.J Selyer.<br />
<br />
The first of many Thank You's.<br />
Mystique xxxx<br />
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<br />purplemystiquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04258733662670324656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7280909582561844457.post-54128173706165027902014-05-27T15:53:00.000-07:002014-05-27T15:53:11.468-07:00Just a thought on love <br />
<br />
There's this marvellous thing we call love, a feeling really. however a dangerous emotion because its the most powerful of all. You see I've recently discovered the wonder of this feeling. After so many years of having it tainted, wisted and warped, i had a disfigured view on it, and then, he came along, yes, He came along. he was like no other i had seen before and just like that. It was as if he saw right through my bullshit and made all the voices inside my head just just up. I was hooked. He became the only drug i needed, and then he became my springboard, my inspiration, my muse. and then for the first time, i was open to this world i never knew existed.<br />
<br />
As simple as that. he took me and he turned my world the right way round and i fought the truth for a while but he didn't just change me, he changed the people around me, and that's when i knew, and wouldn't dare admit it to him, but that's when i knew, there is no use fighting it. when you love somebody, it changes you, suddenly it isn't just you, its us, and we.<br />
<br />
He was a new planet, undiscovered and the first of his kind and i was drawn t him like a piece of space debris drawn into his orbit and then all of a sudden i was alive. so yes,i am doing the sappy Love post's of late but only because i wish everyone to find something as beautiful as this.<br />
<br />
And I really do believe its out there for all of us. so stay strong puppies, age is but a number, you could be nineteen or a hundred and nine when you meet that special someone, but trust me. when you meet them, and you love them, each moment, no matter how small, become a lifetime of something magical. and i urge you to go for the person who looks at you like your magic, because if you can see it in his eye's he really does see the magic inside of you, and that's what we're all after is it not? someone to see the magic inside us all.<br />
<br />
Stay golden<br />
Mystique xxxxpurplemystiquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04258733662670324656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7280909582561844457.post-64843709683463351712014-05-27T13:27:00.000-07:002014-05-27T13:27:27.677-07:00Home <br />
She was home<br />
<br />
The past was her oldest and dearest friend. the music lasted around her, bouncing off walls and ricocheting from memory to memory, she was lost no more. This place she now called home, was her safe haven from the cruelty of the blistering winds of the universe, oh what a thought, she cried to herself as the violin played on, a lone symphony only evident to them, she yearned for an age old relic that kept her in tact. she yearned for the laugh it had once cause her, but only for a moment before the earnest truth trickled in through the seems. Nights beside the waters, rippling from the moments they had cast now in heart stone. She was one with the mercy of the worlds, and just as she began to slip, from chair to floor, intoxicated with hatred and vengeance, he caught her, by the hand, and then arm, and as he slowly inched his way across her skin, she felt his soul intertwine with hers and just as their eyes met, a thousand kisses were shared betwixt eyes so fond of tales not yet shared...<br />
<br />
His arms held her close, and walls came crashing down, and from tightly touching lips, gently sharing hearts and mind, her should her the whispers of his intentions. "If i cant break doors down for you, i'll hold you as we pick the locks, together..." and silently all of her exhaled. She was now home.<br />
<br />
For P.J.K<br />
Mystique xxxxpurplemystiquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04258733662670324656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7280909582561844457.post-32229377901341293082014-04-20T09:40:00.000-07:002014-04-20T09:40:10.129-07:00A princess story. It begun to astonish me, when my life became a series of fearful moments. where i was caged in a box far from who i truly was in the name of love. How it was so i never realized until it was so late and i lay face first n my bed, sure he would kill me. my own flesh and blood, unwilling to let e spread my wings because it was not on his terms. who was he to pass judgement on the terms of my existence? who was he to tell me how to live when the life that he helped create was the very life that he too helped destroy, having abandoned and left it to its own vices as tender ages, that was the life that found its own way and now he returns to smother its flame with his over bearing movements.<br />
<br />
i was stuck, and history does repeat itself. now i was a princess, locked in my own tower. too afraid to move. i waited fearfully for my prince charming to come and battle the dragon and save me from the life i was so forcefully plunged into.<br />
<br />
i knew that part of the tale was no embellished whim. i had met my prince and he had rescued me once before, but those were tiny shadows in the road, this was the darkest of demons, a dragon neither of us was aware nor knew fully of its true power< but alas, here i was waiting with fear and pain. to become free once again, only this time, i would never return...<br />
<br />
xxxx<br />
Mystiquepurplemystiquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04258733662670324656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7280909582561844457.post-18401439432865527412014-02-13T01:42:00.004-08:002014-06-02T12:30:53.013-07:00It was called Love It was called love, <div>
when she was lost and alone.</div>
<div>
The misery consuming her,</div>
<div>
Each wave stealing a part of her soul.</div>
<div>
She was drowning, within her own misery. </div>
<div>
The demons of her past reaching of her battered soul.</div>
<div>
Heart gasping, flailing wildly in desperate need of air. </div>
<div>
For light, for a source of hope. </div>
<div>
It was but futile war...</div>
<div>
The hurt crawled beneath her skin,</div>
<div>
Gnawing at each vessel,poisoning blood, all too pure intention</div>
<div>
Her heart pumped a virus that festered Satan spawn within ones mind.</div>
<div>
Surrendering her essence to the darkened coldness,</div>
<div>
She closed her eyes and gently...</div>
<div>
She exhaled...</div>
<div>
It was done...</div>
<div>
The virus had won, but it wasn't done...</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
For Dante xxxx </div>
<div>
Mystique </div>
purplemystiquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04258733662670324656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7280909582561844457.post-15025648200228869092014-01-31T14:59:00.001-08:002014-01-31T14:59:19.319-08:00A moment of weakness<br />
In a moment of weakness everything seems clear, at least the emotion behind it does, but then again, in a moment of weakness a persons true self is revealed and that is what we all fear the most. That in these moments, before our death; in times of complete loss and madness and rage; we reveal our hearts true intention; and that which we find:hidden behind these doors is a window into our soul, but the soul we ni longer know.<br />
<br />
Perhaps that is why we find reasons to lie; to hide what we fear we really are inside. However what if we already know? If we have already fallen witness to the tyranny and destruction of our true selves. Would that be even more reason to to hide? Too afraid to show the world who, or rather what, we truly are...<br />
<br />
If this is so, how can we be so selfish as to hide monsters in cotton cages and tame them with time? Is it all in an effort to tame the living beast, and wwith this same notion of time, break its spirit and conceal it within ourselves because that would be foolish of us all.<br />
<br />
If however, all of this may be so, then we are correct to fear these few, brief moments of weakness, for they are the ones that will be truly shatter us and reveal the souls that we really are without the masquerade and crumbling walls built to keep us safe, but when these are all to melt away, I can only hope the ones around us can prepare for the aftermath we will unleash on the enemies of these very soul's, our tortured souls...<br />
<br />
xxxx<br />
Mystique.purplemystiquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04258733662670324656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7280909582561844457.post-31058400200512572792014-01-26T09:24:00.000-08:002014-01-26T09:24:57.501-08:00To Change <br />
A dream will always be a dream if you dont do anything about it! A mistake will always be a mistake if you dont change it. <br />
<br />
Its okay to be affraid of change, I know I am. I was holding on so desperately to the past. All that it had to remind me. the anger and pain and the what if's and things I'd wished I'd done and I just didnt want it to be so. I took a look back into my past one last time and I found Nine year old me deciding she wanted to be a writter. To apture the thousand words that could create a picture so clear, to create a world of her own between the lines, I wanted to pour my hear out for the world to see and perhapse touch a few lives... <br />
<br />
I wanted to create something Great! Something like The Outsiders or Wuthering Heights, something that would last threw the years and over time, never fade. I wanted to create poetry in words and move people to tears... <br />
<br />
However what i realized in that moment, what nine year old me wanted was exactly what eighteen year old me was affraid to have, to change everything around you and begin all over again is not as simple as we use to think it was when we were in high school, but then again, I was no longer in High School and in order for me to become the person i had for so long yearned to be. I would have to move the mountains within me. <br />
<br />
I would change myself as i changed the world and created Greatness...<br />
or atleast that was the plan as I packed a suitcase and began a little journey to my future. the journey to change...<br />
<br />
To Change. xxxx <br />
Mystique purplemystiquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04258733662670324656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7280909582561844457.post-72343037816555450952014-01-24T18:00:00.001-08:002014-01-24T18:00:21.434-08:00For Dante. A great friend who helped me realize a few things about myself and how strong i actually was made me think of something he liked to call powerful so this one is for you. <div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"And she held her heart to the universe and urged the Gods to grant her flight. There was no doubt in her soul for she trusted completely and regret was fear for this..." </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
For Dante xxxx</div>
<div>
Mystique </div>
purplemystiquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04258733662670324656noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7280909582561844457.post-66813390371500030772014-01-24T16:24:00.001-08:002014-01-24T16:24:08.374-08:00The welcoming comittee Greetings and Salutations Strangers.<br />
<br />
Welcome one and all to my little corner of the world wide web. Unfortunately there will be no grand parades or bands playing happy songs to welcome you here, apparently I'm not that awesome ( i know right, very hard to believe) however, what i lack in big bang and flash, I'll make up in heart. this blog probably wont be something famous or popular but its okay cause its not really set out to be, its just a little window into the life of a girl who's trying to survive in the world out there and maybe even live a few dreams here and there, so stick around, maybe you'll find you have a few things in common. you never know where the journey of life will take you.<br />
<br />
Stay extraordinary xxxx<br />
Mystique.purplemystiquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04258733662670324656noreply@blogger.com0