In Tatters and Boundless Spaces

You stood before her; An almost Infallible man; unearthed by her silence, feeling at peace when you saw the calm in her eyes and the turmoil on her face, your eyes said you were Home, as you let them meet hers and dance an nearly forgotten waltz, whispering the words she had patiently died a thousand times to hear, you breathed life into her insecurities as your drew her in one last time smiling as though you could love her forever, you took a step towards her and she let her resolve dissolve as you whispered into her ear…    

When you spoke she heard the sound of a low slow thunder rumbling in the distance of a three day rainstorm, She let herself get lost in it, the sound of the ocean crashing against boulders and shore, mimicking sounds of her heart, she let the waves carry her away… but as the words trace curves of her lips, her neck, her heart, and her healing scars she wonders, only one thing, Could you truly love a broken soul… 
 Could you be the warm hollowed out crevasse perfectly moulded to her every jagged edge, every rounded curve, could your arms be the silk scarves, wrapping every wound, every scar,  holding her together pieces in a familiar  and necessary touch. Like a tourniquet embracing the correct lines to stop the pain festering, could you be her strong hold against the world, and on days she loses the battles against herself could you be her constant.  

Could you take care of her broken soul?
 Laying in pieces on the floor, could you gather her fragments into see through jars, let the sun kiss her darkness away, could you be her sun.  Could you still love her knowing the darkness that she hides?  
Could you love isolation of the walls she builds as barricades from the world, could you learn which ones to climb and which ones to kiss, leaving flowers and candles and ginger caresses, reassuring the fears that lurk on the other side of them, never truly knowing if this would be the last. Could you watch the shadows dancing under her eyes and know when to brush them away, and when to let them fall to the floor… Could you whisper your essence into her ears when she shudders in slumber and ease the demons away… Would you lose your faith if you knew where her light began and her darkness ended, knowing she might let you surrender to her, could you trust her to embrace you one last time? 

She might let you touch her, she might open the palms of her hands and let you place your lips upon every smile, or frown, but would you dare to try?  She might run her fingers over every scar you have ever endured and place a kiss upon your every hurt. She might disrobe her soul and let the memories slip down her skin like satin sheath and gather at her feet like the waters of her revival. But could you truly breathe in her scent like you yearn to…
 Could you taste the galaxies forming beneath her bones, could you embrace her fire without scorching? Could you stand to watch her fly away, and trust that she would return to you, like the string of a kite so delicately anchored to her soul could you reel her back in, just as she begins to wither into herself, Could you extend your arms and touch her this time, like reaching into the darkness within yourself, could you stare into her Abyss and bare letting it stare back into you…
Could you sing the songs she writes on her skin like a road map to her every emotion, could you bare to watch her dance and know that every misstep is ultimately your own… Could you Love a broken Soul, and learn to let it love you back the only way it can … 



                                                                                                                           xxxx
                                                                                                                       Mystique

Falling In love

Your mistake, my darling, was not falling in love, your mistake was falling in love with someone who could not see the sparkle in your eyes; the never ending love in your big beautiful heart; the blazing inferno in your soul; the pure wildness in your smile that cannot be tamed; darling; your skin is the the most precious material on the face of our earth and it will not be traded on any market or any level. You are a piece of the universe, an intangible spirit breathing life into everyone and everything you come into contact with. You are life! You are love! A breathtaking mystery filled with wonder and surprise, you are life!
Loving someone who who could not see all that you are was no mistake of yours, please never forget that.
The mistake was theirs. You are worth more than diamonds, more than earth. No one will ever be worth but a single tear from your wonder filled eyes.
Smile my darling, keep your head held up high because someday soon someone special, will see what I see in you and they will be worth falling in love with more than a thousand times.

xxxx Mystique

LOST AND FOUND

A moment of truth: 

There was a time in my life i thought that i could save everyone, but I can't, probably will never be able to, it's just how life goes. Unfortunately I learnt this a little too late, and I had already lost myself, the girl i used to be. Bright eyed ready to fall in love with the first person who wasn't ready for the kind of love I had to offer. 

Don't get me wrong, it isn't that they didn't try but in the few months I have been gone i learned something. People are different. some people understand sports others understand computers, some people change when they loose someone important to  them, others, well they manage to stay exactly the same. I am the type of girl who loses herself in a fairy tale, 

A type of girl who never really grew up they way she was supposed to. Girls -and boys- like me, we were forced to grow up before we were supposed to, and then when allowed to be our age we were just confused. You ask a nine year old to be an adult and then expect them to act their age at sixteen, it's a recipe for disaster. 

I was that disaster. I learned to live life a certain way then all of a sudden was one day forced to change. I lost who I was in the process. 

Lost amidst parts of myself I'd long since forgotten, I awoke one morning to the soul crushing realization I would never quite be the same, never be a carefree child, never a complete adult, I was destined to be a roamer, a gypsy wandering somewhere in between, 

I wasn't the only one who grew up this way.

It became a flaw of my generation, The generation of angry teenagers and young moms'; of lost girls and confused boys. The generation of school leavers and disappearing acts. I dropped off the face of the earth and somewhere, tangled in the sadness and misery of not knowing what the world expected of me I found something I never even knew existed. Deep down inside myself lay a sparkling little gem of light, the person I was destined to be. I found me. 

I found the anger and the excitement, I found the desire and i found the disdain, i found the path that would lead me back to the world a new woman, I found acceptance, I haven't quite learned how to embrace it fully but finding me made me realize, being a work in progress isn't such a bad thing after all, it just means you, like a diamond take just a little longer, need a little more pressure and darkness to emerge a precious jewel of Mother earth and Father time. 

Because the girls and boys of my generation, aren't all that bad at all.

There's still hope for us all. 

XXXX 

Mystique 

The return of a forgotten girl.

To all the loyal followers of purple mystique:

 An unmentionable amount of thank you's, yes, I did let my blog take a back seat to the weird and sometimes wonderful dramas of life but now that life has begun, once again, to settle into something resembling a routine, I've picked up the torch for my words and begun to mission forward once again. quite simply put, I've returned to the world wide web to paint it purple with my words all over again... IM BACK!!!!! I apologize sincerely if you'd given up on me, and if you hadn't yet, thank you once again. The ext few posts will hopefully make p for it and perhaps the addition of a new section and life to the blog. 

I think a makeover is well over due. 

Yours truly... 

Purgatory

And I was told to love you,
because without you the emptiness would be too much too bear.
And I was told to forgive you,
because the hatred for you would eventually kill me.
But the truth was.
Whether you were there or not.
My life was a rapidly moving train.
Derailed by the speed of pain,
I watched the slow motion disaster unfold
before my very eyes:
too horrific to move, too awful to turn away.
I tasted the misery on my tongue,
felt its crawl on my skin.
As the universe opened up a black worm hole.
Spiraling down as it burnt up.
The darkness consuming everything around me.
And I fell.
Not knowing which way was up or down.
Into the abyss as it cascaded with tears of the dead.
And I could have asked you to stay,
just so I wouldn't be alone when it all came crashing down,
but I recall a faint voice in the back of my head
saying this was a perfect replica.
Identical to the precise moment I fell for yo.
And  fell for you.
I fell for you hard.
And I could have buried my head in a pillow
and yelped out in pain,
but the misery clawed at my throat,
and I was too busy trying to survive.
Too busy missing you to remember to fight for air,
and my lungs ached for oxygen
but the insides of my thighs had a deeper aching,
for the kiss of your lips.
And my tears fell but my hands were too busy
trying to reinvent the touch of your fingertips on my skin.
So they drowned me.
And they all told me to forget you,
because regretting what you did was better than regretting what you didn't do.
And I called their bluff,
as I pulled up my blue sleeves to reveal my tattered wrists.
Because never meeting you
would have been so much easier
than whatever purgatory this is...