A moment of truth:
There was a time in my life i thought that i could save everyone, but I can't, probably will never be able to, it's just how life goes. Unfortunately I learnt this a little too late, and I had already lost myself, the girl i used to be. Bright eyed ready to fall in love with the first person who wasn't ready for the kind of love I had to offer.
Don't get me wrong, it isn't that they didn't try but in the few months I have been gone i learned something. People are different. some people understand sports others understand computers, some people change when they loose someone important to them, others, well they manage to stay exactly the same. I am the type of girl who loses herself in a fairy tale,
A type of girl who never really grew up they way she was supposed to. Girls -and boys- like me, we were forced to grow up before we were supposed to, and then when allowed to be our age we were just confused. You ask a nine year old to be an adult and then expect them to act their age at sixteen, it's a recipe for disaster.
I was that disaster. I learned to live life a certain way then all of a sudden was one day forced to change. I lost who I was in the process.
Lost amidst parts of myself I'd long since forgotten, I awoke one morning to the soul crushing realization I would never quite be the same, never be a carefree child, never a complete adult, I was destined to be a roamer, a gypsy wandering somewhere in between,
I wasn't the only one who grew up this way.
It became a flaw of my generation, The generation of angry teenagers and young moms'; of lost girls and confused boys. The generation of school leavers and disappearing acts. I dropped off the face of the earth and somewhere, tangled in the sadness and misery of not knowing what the world expected of me I found something I never even knew existed. Deep down inside myself lay a sparkling little gem of light, the person I was destined to be. I found me.
I found the anger and the excitement, I found the desire and i found the disdain, i found the path that would lead me back to the world a new woman, I found acceptance, I haven't quite learned how to embrace it fully but finding me made me realize, being a work in progress isn't such a bad thing after all, it just means you, like a diamond take just a little longer, need a little more pressure and darkness to emerge a precious jewel of Mother earth and Father time.
Because the girls and boys of my generation, aren't all that bad at all.
There's still hope for us all.
XXXX
Mystique
