Calling Me

I looked into my past, and I was cold.
You had gone away.
The sun had stopped shinning,
the warm breeze had frozen into gusts of ice filled shards and bitterness,
scrapping at my skin.
I am not the girl I used to be.
Yesterday i was so sad, so dark and so alone.
Today I am a women. embracing her words, solitude is now a glory.
But sometimes, sometimes you are pulled back into my mind, and grab at me,
with talons of decay:
I feel myself withering in the distance of those memories.
I see it, the way I let you bring me down,
 I feel it,
the way you turn me back into that girl i used to be.
I lied.
Why cant I let you go completely.
Why do I still hide that fragment of who you used to be,
And I hear you, I hear you calling me,
with a voice so distance,
to answer back to you.
I was fighting to stay alive,
skimming the surface,
I was drowning,
trying not to die.
I survived!
why cant I let that fragment of who you used to be go...
why are you still there!
Like a child, standing still at the door,
watching hope and fantasy drifting away into the distance until I am nothing but a fading dot in a faraway fading horizon.
Why are you still calling me?
Why are you still there?
I hear you calling me, but there is nothing i can do.
No way I can force you to leave me alone,
without drifting back into the distance.
Why are you calling me?
Why are you still holding onto me?
Let me go. please, please! please... please...
We've already said goodbye...
Why are you still calling out to me.
Just go...
let me go, so that i may let you go, for good...
for good...