Everyday life was a
battle.
She lived like the
arduous were unconquerable alps, never ending peaks
and the effortless were unfathomable gallows
spiralling into rapidly descending pits.
Soaring from
mushroom cloud to cumulus nimbus of doom,
Each one shattering
the small hope reserved to jump to the next.
She was a soldier,
sent to battle with only her bare
exposed heart as a weapon.
A country, a small
island, landlocked by continents at war.
She was no man land,
dancing a waltz that only she knew:
Ducking and diving
through fallen debris and flying shrapnel wounded souls
Who could love
a girl whose wounds covered her entire
face.
Whose skin was a
thin tattered cloak of pain, anguish and unsurpassed mistakes?
Who would see deep
beneath the measure of self loathing despair to the women who lay there?
Long since
forgotten…
Now she waded
monsters and demons, in search of her next fix.
The devil that would
play in her veins making her forget.
But she wasn't
always this way.
There wasn't always
a pernicious thicket of thorn bearing foliage and detrimental hate,
No she too was once
so beautiful.
A sweet little girl
with pigtails, played in a park,
With no one
watching, she was well on her way to paradise…
Now she clung to the
memories of that state
Waiting for them to
come and take her away.
And sometimes she
thought it would be better that way.
Men in cloaks as
white as the bright heavenly light,
To take her away to
a place where she could never hurt herself again.
Where the year
old needles and blades couldn't slice
jagged flesh from her unwanted body
And no, she probably
wouldn't bleed ever again but at least there,
Wherever there was,
They couldn't hurt
her there.
So she'd gladly
welcome her cocktail of pills and gulp down her last bottle of rum.
And pray that when
they found her she would be dead.
But if for some
reason she heard the faraway sirens whirling in an approaching distance
She hoped to hear
them say she were a danger to herself,
Knowing full well
that she were a danger to them all
And so her
fairy-tale show would end
And in a place where
the walls were softer and the sounds were sweet.
She'd have three
meals a day and a few more pills to take away the pain
And say goodbye to
the horrid numbness that ricochet and say hello to the rest of eternity.
She would fly away
tonight and then,
Only then would
everything be okay.
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