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Monday, 6 October 2014

The Manic Depressant Files.

Everyday life was a battle.
She lived like the arduous were unconquerable alps, never ending peaks
 and the effortless were unfathomable gallows spiralling into rapidly descending pits.
Soaring from mushroom cloud to cumulus nimbus of doom,
Each one shattering the small hope reserved to jump to the next.
She was a soldier, sent to battle with only her bare  exposed heart as a weapon.
A country, a small island, landlocked by continents at war.
She was no man land, dancing a waltz that only she knew:
Ducking and diving through fallen debris and flying shrapnel wounded souls
Who could love a  girl whose wounds covered her entire face.
Whose skin was a thin tattered cloak of pain, anguish and unsurpassed mistakes?
Who would see deep beneath the measure of self loathing despair to the women who lay there?
Long since forgotten…
Now she waded monsters and demons, in search of her next fix.
The devil that would play in her veins making her forget.
But she wasn't always this way.
There wasn't always a pernicious thicket of thorn bearing foliage and detrimental hate,
No she too was once so beautiful.
A sweet little girl with pigtails, played in a park,
With no one watching, she was well on her way to paradise…
Now she clung to the memories of that state
Waiting for them to come and take her away.
And sometimes she thought it would be better that way.
Men in cloaks as white as the bright heavenly light,
To take her away to a place where she could never hurt herself again.
Where the year old  needles and blades couldn't slice jagged flesh from her unwanted body
And no, she probably wouldn't bleed ever again but at least there,
Wherever there was,
They couldn't hurt her there.
So she'd gladly welcome her cocktail of pills and gulp down her last bottle of rum.
And pray that when they found her she would be dead.
But if for some reason she heard the faraway sirens whirling in an approaching distance
She hoped to hear them say she were a danger to herself,
Knowing full well that she were a danger to them all
And so her fairy-tale show would end
And in a place where the walls were softer and the sounds were sweet.
She'd have three meals a day and a few more pills to take away the pain
And say goodbye to the horrid numbness that ricochet and say hello to the rest of eternity.
She would fly away tonight and then,

Only then would everything be okay.  

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